Hey Monday. 1.24

More rain. Yay! Freshly mowed grass, blinds open, earphones and pajamas on…ah, serenity. (The earphones are to drown out the sound of two Little’s whispering in their beds.) I hope this storms lasts all night!

Today was hectic. Not because of events. It just wasn’t good. I guess I am still emotional from Mother’s Day, yesterday. I wanted to have a GREAT day. My first Mother’s Day was horrible. It consisted of me cooking and cleaning up after guys that I absolutely hated at the time. Every year since then, Mother’s Day just hasn’t been my day. I guess, maybe, that sounds selfish. But, this is MY story, right?

Enough complaining, though. I’m pretty sure the electricity is going to go out soon… I clearly have nothing important to say tonight… I think I need a new book to read.

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Square Peg.

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Mother’s Day.

Our morning started out pretty normal for us. Showers, breakfast, get ready for church, break up a fit between toddlers…argue with myself about what I “should” wear to church… This is something I struggle with on an HOURLY basis…

When I moved to East Texas from South Louisiana, I was the outcast. I “talked funny”. People couldn’t understand me. I remember being corrected on the term “hose pipe”. (Apparently, it’s a water-hose!) I could no longer wear the things I wore, talk the way I talked, or act the way I acted. I was forced into being someone who East Texas wanted me to be. The older I got, the more I realized how “fake” people could be.

I had wanted to find a church home to raise Mackenzie in for about 2 years. I had very strong Christian influences in my teen and adult life. But, I lacked that in my childhood. I wanted to make certain that Kenzie didn’t miss out on what I had.  When I married, at 19, I had chosen someone who everyone around me thought was the perfect choice for “me”. And he wasn’t a bad person…he just wasn’t for ME. It took me a long 4 years of soul-searching and hurting myself to come to the realization that I needed to be true to myself. Not FOR myself, but for everyone I was involved with. My daughter, my husband, my parents, my friends…and God. I couldn’t make my husband go to church with me. I couldn’t make my friends go with me because they were busy being 20 years old… not parents and wives. So, once again, I did what most people would do, I stopped trying to do what I *knew* was right for me and started doing what was expected from me. I hung out with people who were poisonous to me. I did things that made those people proud.

Once I realized what was happening, I realized it was THE time to turn things around. I got a divorce. I cut ties with people who didn’t belong in my life and I moved on.

The next 4 months of my life are a blur. I fought with people. Including my Mom. I hurt people. Including myself. And my best friend… Thank God for mercy…

When I married Mike things calmed down, for a little while. He understood me. He was searching for the same thing I was and wasn’t finding it where he was looking. Such has been the past 6 years. Still unable to wear what we want, do what we want, or say what we want due to the way people react when someone is their TRUE self. When we say “we just don’t belong here”, it’s not because we are bitter towards anything. We just really DON’T belong here. Our way of thinking isn’t accepted. Our way of life is “different”. You may read this and think I am crazy because you don’t get to see the ways in which we are different than you. But, I assure you, we are…

The world we live in is full of ridicule. If you do not follow the mold that the enemy sets in front of you, YOU are the outcast. So, in turn, we are all square pegs in a round hole.

 

This was (for the most part) the message Bri’ preached this morning. Needless to say, it struck me right where it counts!!! As a child of God and a Mother to children of God, it is my job to be who God made ME to be. It’s not fair to cover up who I am and what I am. It is my duty to pass my uniqueness down to my children and to teach them that being themselves is EXACTLY what God intended them to be.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Me and Toryn May 10, 2014

Because every blog post needs to start with some original photography…

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Blown Glass Seattle Aquarium, February 2014 Tinnie Anderson Photography

 

Two Carrot Cakes, about 50 chocolate dipped strawberries, 3 gift baskets, 2 pizzas, 3 dozen assorted cookies, 6 Nurses week cupcakes, and much much more made up my Friday! No, I didn’t eat any of that… I made it! Love my job 🙂

Once that was all over, onto the salon I went. Goodbye purple… HELLO, BLONDE! Yep, pixie’d off and bleached it out. We will see who does it now! (Pics tomorrow…)

Lot’s of photo shoots tomorrow! Even one with the bestie and her gorgeous family!!! It’s high time they had an updated family pic!!! (I think she will agree!)

I’m sure previews of those and all the others will come tomorrow evening…for tonight, I’ll leave you with these. From my favorite place on Earth… of course!

Gum Wall Seattle, Washington February 2014

Gum Wall
Seattle, Washington
February 2014

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Gum Wall Art Seattle, Washington February 2014 Tinnie Anderson Photography

 

 

RAIN!!! I pretty much day-dreamed this day away. Rain, light wind, and…heat. Well, it can’t ALL be perfect, right? If I had my choice, today would have been used solely for reading and writing purposes. Curtains open, music on, no television, a blanket, and a BOOK! Possibly about this place….IMG_8664

Had it not been for the rain, I would have had a photo shoot. I think God is stopping me from doing this shoot for some reason. I have been wanting to shoot this person for a LONG time. I finally got the chance before I visited Seattle (Yep, I brought it up again. Get over it.) SO much inspiration came from that one week trip…and I have nothing to use it on!

The last shoot with him was fun, though. Just not nearly as “free” as I would have liked. Thanks, Rusk.

Dave

 

I guess I should probably go spend some time with the husband. He get’s put off a lot thanks to my dreaming…Sorry, Babe!

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